Throughout these weeks of edgy sexual D/s exploration – no wait, it’s months now – I go to Fetlife hoping to see more people “like me.” I want to feel normal. And I can’t look away. Well, I can easily scroll by all the exhibitionist girls with stilettos and waxed pussies trying to lure people…
One way my husband wants me to surrender to him is to reveal to him how I am feeling about him and our Dominant/submissive sexual arrangement, so I am developing the habit of writing down our sexual experiences and how I feel about it. I call it my “chronicle” (and the basis for this blog).…
I am having a rough work day, lots of difficult conversations and criticism of the pages I have turned in. And in the middle of this, Michael sends me an email. He wants me waiting naked in bed for him when he gets home from work, to have ropes and riding crop ready so he…
I have a new hobby: Contemplating all the ways in which sexual submission is similar to actual spiritual practices, and how it is “saving” me. The first is obvious, and that’s the experience of surrender in the most literal way. Eastern religions have long taught that when one is truly surrendered, relinquishing all power and…
Michael comes home after being gone on a work trip for five forever days to find me, an eager little submissive waiting for him, craving attention. He knows from my many feverish emails to him while he was gone that I am longing to be tied up, be spanked. I know from one look at…
My husband has left on a business trip for five days. Five long days. “Daddy’s aren’t supposed to leave,” I pouted just before he left. Yes, he said with a laugh, I’m a bad Daddy. No, no, no, I said as I pressed myself close. You’re the most perfect Daddy there ever was. It’s becoming…
Almost always on weekend mornings in the year we have been together, Michael and I wake and roll toward each other, and soon we are groping and kissing and fingering and fucking and loving so deeply that we do not stop until an hour or two later when we are limp and exhausted and starving.…
This afternoon I find myself in a jagged mood for no reason. Some sort of hormonal anger where I feel like throwing things (do throw things, my hairbrush, my sandal, go bouncing off the couch). I send Michael a message that I won’t be there when he gets home from work, I’m headed to get…
Only a few weeks in, my D/s experience with my husband is now hitting me with all the power of a religious conversion. I have that ‘born again’ feeling of being a new person in thrall to a new understanding of God. I lie over Michael’s lap for a spanking and it feels like a…
We are starting to find a rhythm in our D/s life, finding pleasure and joy in daily “keep me in a submissive mindset” rituals: Me on my knees to suck on his cock when he gets home from work. A sweet spanking after dinner. I’m now asking for harder whacks. I love the instant calm…
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