It is not even three months since my husband and I discovered BDSM and began a journey into power exchange, and yet I go to bed each night thinking we have finally plumbed the depths of what D/s has to offer us. As we drift off to sleep, I press up against his back, certain there can’t possibly be any deeper experience that we can have together, certain I cannot possibly open my body any more, or submit any further, or feel any more love, or experience any greater ecstasy. But each morning I learn how wrong my feeling of certainty. Each morning I learn we are only just beginning …
I feel his tongue poised at the edge of my ear, I know it is coming, and the anticipation is excruciating, building, and my head is firmly trapped in the circle of his arm, there is nothing I can do but wait as he moves inside me from below. And then his tongue slides in, and his finger shoves up into my ass, he is penetrating me everywhere. In less than two minutes I come again.
This morning, I am barely awake when Daddy tells me to climb on top of him. It starts off this way, the feel of sex as usual, nice and warm and loving. I have myself a very nice orgasm, and in the world of ordinary husband and wife, I would keep moving atop him until he came, too. But because he is my Daddy and because we are not ordinary, he stops me from getting him there, and tells me to be still. And here is where this changes from ordinary sex into a heated experience of Dominance and submission. I am moving on top of him, he has my head gripped in against him, and he is whispering in my ear that no woman has ever been loved as much as he loves me. I feel his tongue poised at the edge of my ear, I know it is coming, and the anticipation is excruciating, building, and my head is firmly trapped in the circle of his arm, there is nothing I can do but wait as he moves inside me from below. And then his tongue slides in, and his finger shoves up into my ass, he is penetrating me everywhere. In less than two minutes I come again.
Fully satisfied, I move off him. He says something to me, and my head automatically turns and I open my mouth and thrust out my tongue, and it is several moments later that my brain actually processes the words he said. He’d told me to give him my tongue, and I was doing it before my mind could even register the meaning of the sentence and decide to obey it. My body obeyed without thought. I have never felt it happen that quickly before, mindless obedience, and it both thrills and scares me at once. I know it thrills him, too, but I don’t think it scares him at all to have that kind of control of me. He demands it, and now he will not leave me to rest. He drags me across him, shoves my leg up, and his finger goes back to stroking my bottom hole, tender and excited. My body continues melting, transforming and I tell him how it feels like he is flipping all the switches in my body, making electricity run through me. I tell him it gives me the uncanny sense of belonging to him, my Daddy, the owner of my mind and creator of my sexual self …
His finger keeps stroking my butthole as I talk, my excitement is excruciating, and then he shoves his other fingers into my pussy, and now there is longer any such thing as individual orgasms, they blur together. It’s just orgasmic energy dancing in me again, moving up and down me as he penetrates both holes at once, and there is nothing I can do but let go and let it happen. And even after he moves his fingers away, it is still happening, I feel the energy deep in my belly, my pussy, my ass, energy pleasure spinning warm open, I tell him, “Oh I still feel it!” I am still rippling with these orgasmic rushes …
And now I get lost, his tongue is in my ear again, and it feels exactly like sexual penetration in my pussy, that is how my mind is perceiving it, like being fucked, and the continuous flowing orgasm that comes with his tongue thrusting into my ear feels just as if he was thrusting a cock in my pussy, the exact feeling. And for the first time it occurs to me that he is making me orgasm not just through my body, but through my mind. He has wired those switches into my body through the plasticity of my mind, my brain is literally creating new neural pathways through his loving manipulation and control of my body. This is a mental orgasm, a love orgasm, and this is a revelation to me.
I try to convey this to him, but I am so lost in the words he is murmuring to me in his hypnotic voice. He is telling me he feels my heart, he feels the love in my heart, and I feel it too, I feel so soaked and saturated in love, it is overflowing me, us. I feel as if we are floating in liquid together, a warm bath of love, a sea of love, I am dissolving in it. And his hand moves to my nipple, another switch in body and mind, he pulls and pulls on it, playing me like an instrument again, and I am engulfed in that sea and orgasmic ripples dance and play me, my mind is gone and he is kissing me and I am swallowed in love and pleasure and music …
I don’t know how long it lasts, that state of ecstasy, penetrated by bliss, soaked in bliss, it feels like it will be endless if not for the fact that I such an urgency to express it to him. I put my hand on his hip to squeeze, and it feels like holy flesh, and just that – the feel of his hip under my palm – sends another orgasmic rush through me. Oh, I am near bursting with my need to express it to him, my dazed mind is groping for words, but this huge feeling won’t narrow itself down into any words at all. He looks at me, says, “I love you, babygirl,” and I am looking at him and nodding, and I am trying to say the same simple words back, but the feeling is too big, it fills my throat, I still can’t speak, I can only cry.
It takes me awhile to come back into myself, I feel I have been on almost a psychedelic trip, an intense drug high, and I suppose there is truth in that. These things he does to me, this manhandling and intense sexual stimulation, makes my brain churn out all kinds of chemicals that give me an ecstatic high. This is why I feel soaked, I really am soaked, my cells swelling with oxytocin or whatever chemical the body understands as love. I can barely look at him, he glows to me, shines with holy light, it hurts to look and yet I cannot look away either. He stands over me, seeming unable to look away from me too, his eyes moving slowly up my legs like a caress, he tells me how beautiful I am. I wonder how I will ever make myself move from that bed …
But I do. We go out to breakfast, like ordinary people. Oh, but we are not ordinary. I am floating in extraordinary. He says he is going to tie me up today. I don’t know how much more ecstasy I can withstand, or how I can possibly hold any more love inside me, it feels as if I really might dissolve away. But there is nothing else I am fit for today, nothing else but surrender to him, whatever he wants. Anything, anything, Daddy, just tell me, my body will obey.
I wanted to let you know that I have been following your posts and have learned so much from your blog. You are leaving bread crumbs for couples following you on this journey as was your original intention.
You are an incredible writer and I enjoy your words like nothing else on the D/ s topic for married couples on the internet.
I will reach out to you by email soon. Please keep writing, please keep posting. I am so grateful for this space and your work.
I hope you keep “ floating in extraordinary “. I feel your words.
Much love from Scarlet Rose
Thank you SO much for your words, Scarlet Rose. Means the world to hear and encourages me like nothing else to keep posting! May your own journey unfold in extraordinary ways