This morning, I slip off back to sleep after Daddy goes to work, and I dream that he has decided to start “anal training” and come back into the room to slip a butt plug in my ass. We have been talking about it so much lately, my growing desire to surrender to this ultimate symbol of his domination and the problem of how to get my ass open enough to be able to take his cock. But however much the idea excites me, just a finger or two is about all I can handle, anything bigger hurts so much that my behind clenches up in resistance.
I have printed out actual “submissive ass training” instructions off the internet that require a graduated series of butt plugs, and flushed with embarrassment as I handed it to him a few evenings before.
I tell him I am embarrassed that this is how I am spending my mental energy. Really? I say. This is the biggest problem in my life right now? We laugh as we talk about it, our “first world problems.” Imagine, I say, if I could put all this mental energy into actually doing good in the world instead of trying to figure out how get your cock up my butt. I look at all the people on Fetlife, and I am agog at the ingenuity that goes into constructing gadgets and contraptions for sexual stimulation. What if those people put their minds to doing something useful with that ingenuity, too? Then again, what if more people were focused on getting off sexually rather than raping and pillaging the earth, inventing useless things, bombs, airplanes, starting wars?
But whether I approve of myself or not, this is where my mind is going, this seems an urgent and vital thing. My Daddy must fuck me in the ass or I cannot be happy. And this morning my dream seems so vivid and real that when I wake, I am unsure whether really happened, and I reach around and touch my behind to make sure there is truly no butt plug there.
I open up my email to write Michael and tell him about my dream. But he has already written me that he intends to begin my ass training over the weekend.
“We’ll begin on the couch tonight,” he writes, “after I apply the usual discipline, gentle anal massage, sensual, relaxing, after which I’ll ease a slightly larger plug inside.”
I cannot wait for him to get home. I helpfully put the tray of graduated sizes of silicone butt plugs on the coffee table.
He comes home crackling with sexual energy, puts me on my knees, I suck his cock. He sits in a chair, he wants to show me silly cat pictures on the internet. So I sit on his lap, and he shows me. At first I feel too huge and silly to be draped across his lap, but then I snuggle in, to be close to him always intoxicates me. I am nervous and giddy I tell him; you are so powerful over me; I don’t know what you’ll do. I hope you’ll never tell me what you plan to do; I just want to be in a receptive state.
We kiss, he whispers his “sweet Daddy nothings” in my ear, plays with the edge of my underwear. Then: take them off baby girl. I splay wide on the chair in front of the living room window while he goes down on me. The window is open I can see the neighbor in the front yard, I try to be quiet as he makes me come with his tongue on my clit.
Then he tells me I am going to lick his ass for him. Oh my God, I am so excited for this, “this is my treat for being good,” I tell him. He gets naked, I play with his ass, licking, sucking, fingers. And the whole time I am thinking of the tray of plugs on the coffee table. Soon it will be my turn.
Then he does me, oh my god he does me, fucks me so hard. As he is pounding me from behind, pressing my head down on the mattress, I ride this spike of excitement, being carried by the intensity of it, and then finally can’t seem to keep up with the intensity, and I feel a switch go off in me, everything in me releases, becomes passive empty open. I lie there taking it, completely mindless and peaceful, an object in truth. When he is done, I can barely move so deep is my peace and serenity.
Later, after dinner, he ties me up in a breast harness. I keep asking for it to be tighter, tighter. And when he is done it is uncomfortably tight around my breasts, but not painfully so, just enough to keep me constantly aware of it, unable to get in a truly comfortable position. I am constantly achingly aware of my bare breasts being pushed out, aware of the rope, the feeling of being tied, owned, oh my god it is stimulating. And he can’t stop playing with them. “I am fascinated with your titties,” he says as he grabs them, sucks on them.
He turns me over his knee on the couch for my spanking, and with each blow he yells out and shudders, he says he feels like he could orgasm that way, it so turns him on.
I stay across his lap as his fingers begin playing inside my pussy. A finger slips into my ass. And here it comes, I think. My throat feels thick with anticipation. But he doesn’t do anything more than that. I squirm impatiently across his lap. Has he forgotten?
I lie there sulking for a good five minutes, deprived, cheated. I finally reach out, slap my hand onto the tray of plugs and grab one of the medium-sized ones, then twist around to hold it up to him. Oh I am topping from the bottom, but I can’t help it, I want this badly.
He laughs and nods, ah okay, and goes about the long slow business of caressing my nervous asshole, and then pushing the wide bottomed plug in. It takes some effort; I keep trying to relax and open and take it in. It is not really that big, but it feels HUGE. It stretches me, feels both uncomfortable and incredibly hot. I feel invaded, subdued. He keeps caressing the area around it, keeping me relaxed. Oh, I sigh and wiggle and smolder, feel so turned on it is excruciating. He starts to take it out, but I say no, I need to leave it in so it will stretch me.
I move back onto the couch, lay up against him. Oh, but there is no way to get comfortable with that thing inside me. I feel some cramping sensations, like I have to go to the bathroom. So now I am both strangely turned on and turned off at once.
Why is it the idea of having something in my ass is so much more pleasurable than the actual feel? It as to be because of the submissive quality of it, the discomfort makes me feel deeply submissive, deeply surrendered. So here I am, in love with the idea of being fucked in the ass, but struggling with the pain. I ask him to take it out, he pulls and pulls, but my ass is so tight around it, it is not giving. I think, oh fuck, it is going to rip me up. Finally it comes out with a sudden pop. Wow, he says, that sucker was in there. It makes us laugh, I come up off the couch in wave of laughing embarrassment. I say, “Now I have to go recover my dignity.” I go wash the thing. Oh, my ass hurts.
Soon we go to bed, he says he wants me again, but I am smarting and stinging down there, so I put him in my mouth and make him come. He cries out, louder than I have ever heard him yell. He tells me it was one of the most intense orgasms of his life. He is 54; I am 51. We had intense exciting sex for the better part of six hours.