About This Blog
This blog describes the personal sexual journey of one couple, recently married, who stumbled into the experience of sexual power exchange. It is written from the perspective of the woman, and written for women who are longing to experience greater sexual fulfillment within their marriage or relationship, and who are open to questioning conventional wisdom about what makes great sex.
This blog is overtly about Dominance/submission (D/s), of BDSM fame, and so it definitely has relevance to the BDSM community. But it is also about sexual polarity, of Tantric fame, as well as the spiritual side of sexual surrender, and so has relevance to the Tantra community.
It was in trying to understand how these two seemingly disparate sexual worlds came together in our bedroom – the hot, naughty BDSM activities and the Tantric style explosion of sexual energy – that we found the work of Tantric philosopher David Deida and his theories on sexual polarity between the masculine and feminine. His descriptions of the joys of erotic surrender and sexual “ravishment” helped us understand what we were experiencing. But his work was also frustratingly vague on particulars and too abstract to me. He didn’t explicitly say what ravishment looked like.
I feel it is important for women to hear from other women what satisfying sex looks like, sounds like, feels like. Even this late in my life, with many sexual experiences behind me, I have been stunned to discover how much of my own sexual nature was unknown to me. So has my husband. I think exposure to American cultural shame about sex might have had something to do with it, but it was probably more a lack of knowing what sex looked like outside of porn. This blog describes what D/s ravishment looks like for me and for us, and so it is sexually explicit, devoted to particulars.
But I admit it is a strange animal, both Tantra and BDSM, but also neither, falling into what I feel is the blissful warm dark space between. It is about giving in to one’s kinky side, yes, but it (hopefully) steers around the distractions of fetish and heads straight into the ecstatic soul of sex.
I am a woman in mid-life, who was lucky enough to be surprised by great love at the age of 50 with a wonderful, open, passionate man just a few years older. I am a writer, with a novel published by Random House, and book of non-fiction in print as well. But mostly I write scripts for television movies, over 30 of which have been produced and aired on various networks. My husband is a former senior manager for a large corporation, and now devotes his time to painting and graphic arts and making all my sexual dreams come true. We are both parents of grown children, who enjoyed the experience of raising them, and yet we’re glad to be moving on from that part of the life journey and have the freedom to focus on each other. In our opinion, a loving relationship is the primary source of true happiness in life. And we believe our sexual bond, enriched by our D/s dynamic, forms the foundation of our love.