In my very first BDSM relationship, I was the Dominant. Well, I played the role of Dominant anyway, dressing up in leather, whirling a flogger over my head, giving my masochistic boyfriend frequent beatings … and growing very irritated when he didn’t do what I told him. Aren’t you supposed to be my submissive? I’d…
This morning I wake to the feel of Daddy taking the covers off my behind, and then sliding two fingers into my ass. He does not ask for consent. He is opening me up and I am in such desperate love with that feeling, the way he invades my behind and pounds it a little…
Note from my future self: The following is an entry from my Submission Journal, written in 2015. Later, I would join a BDSM community, and learn the concept of Consensual Non-Consent, or CNC, and would be very excited to discover the name for my consistent longing to be forced to obey. Many in the community…
It’s been nearly five years since my Daddy Husband and I stumbled into BDSM and began a relationship-transforming journey. Make that a life-changing journey. Those early days – which I have been writing about here on this blog – felt like a spiritual conversion to a new way of understanding ourselves and each other; indeed,…
I imagined myself ending up crouched in a closet, naked, insensible to myself, begging Daddy to be let out and fucked. And who would have any sympathy for idiot me? No one.
But even when we get there, I’ve felt constrained from writing about it, with all the #MeToo movement stuff and the loud and fierce female resistance to women being treated as sexual objects. It has seemed important to take that movement all in and give it space, figure out where the cultural feeling about sexual relationships will end up…
In our early days of exploring D/s, Michael and I spent a lot of time online, exploring BDSM sites and learning the language and lingo from others who’d been immersed in “the lifestyle” for ages. It was very comforting to discover we were not alone, that this path had been traveled many times and found…
This morning, I slip off back to sleep after Daddy goes to work, and I dream that he has decided to start “anal training” and come back into the room to slip a butt plug in my ass. We have been talking about it so much lately, my growing desire to surrender to this ultimate…
Throughout these weeks of edgy sexual D/s exploration – no wait, it’s months now – I go to Fetlife hoping to see more people “like me.” I want to feel normal. And I can’t look away. Well, I can easily scroll by all the exhibitionist girls with stilettos and waxed pussies trying to lure people…
I am having a rough work day, lots of difficult conversations and criticism of the pages I have turned in. And in the middle of this, Michael sends me an email. He wants me waiting naked in bed for him when he gets home from work, to have ropes and riding crop ready so he…
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